I spent a lot of time early on in my career, and in fact, in my life, saying 'yes' to any and all opportunities presented. Sometimes this came in handy.

"Can you work my shift?" turned into dollars in my pocket.
"Would you like to try this new (and potentially gross) food item?" led to a broadened horizon, in any case.

Other times it proved to be a monkey on my back.
"Hey Nicole, are you interested in doing this show about blah, blah, blah with so and so for free?"

Dang it.

After several years of this feeling that saying no to any opportunity was a slap in the face to those who didn't get an offer, that taking one shitty show would absolutely lead to something better in the future, that I would certainly start to enjoy it...at some point...I realized I was burned out.

Then recently, my husband quit a job he had been bitterly unhappy doing for years. I wondered, why did he stay so long? And why did I carry on in a manner that was so obviously not working for me?

I needed a way to check in with myself. A sure and verifiable system of discerning from the outset whether I would find happiness in a new venture or at least, set myself up to find it.

So this is what I came up with.

The 3 P's.

I want to offer these to you and to myself as a way to guide ourselves through decision making as we look for satisfaction in our careers.

1. Project
Is the project interesting or challenging to me and does it make me excited to pursue it?

This to me seems like a no-brainer, but it is most often where I get tripped up. You have to have that passion for the project from the outset, otherwise you most likely will not be carried through long enough to see success and fulfillment. In day-job terms, will you like the day-to-day duties of this job? Because frankly, lofty company mission statements are great, but if you're the toilet-scrubber, you should enjoy scrubbing toilets. In the theater world, you love the show, but do you like the role?

2. People
Do you like the people you will be working with?

I was in a small movie project a few years ago where a friend solicited me to act in a movie. I was really eager to work with this fellow so I said yes straight away and when time came to show up on the set, he was nowhere to be found. Turned out, he was merely gathering people to work together and the folks he had assembled I was not interested in working with. At all.

So, will you enjoy the hours you spend with the people you are working with? This to me is very simple, if you can find out who those people are before accepting the opportunity.

And sometimes People can make up for lack of passion for the project. For a while anyway...

3. Pay
Is the method and extent to which you are compensated for your time and effort worth it?

This will be widely different for each individual, especially in the theater, as many are willing to work for free. My personal philosophy is, if I am missing paid work to be there, I must be compensated reasonably well. If I'm not missing work, well that's negotiable. But it would have to be my garbage can show (the show I would do in a garbage can) for me to work totally uncompensated anymore.

It's not arrogance, it's the fact of the matter. I can't afford it. I've got plans...

So, friends, this is it. I will keep you abreast of how this works for me.

Project, People, Pay.

My first theatrical journey ended like an abusive relationship. I was simultaneously in a euphoric state of relief and a desperate state of fear and loss, screaming at the cops, "Don't take him, I love him!". When I made the decision to walk away without a timeline for re-entry, I had suffered a number of significant rejections on the heels of a period in my career that I had been assuming was "my big break". How ridiculous.

You see, I am a thoroughbred capitalist, bent on the idea of hard work and accomplishment as rungs on a ladder.
This
leads to
this
leads to
this
and at the top, an apex. A terrific and light-headed glory. I suppose it all began to crumble when I became completely convinced that I would reach the top of the ladder and realize how uninteresting the climb had been and that it would probably result in the same feeling that had come after every project I'd completed which was, "I really botched that one and to boot, I made an ass of myself and no one likes me."

Friends, that's about as healthy as a December Diet.

So after a particularly painful rejection email arrived in my inbox, I decided, "Fuck those guys. I'm going back to school."
And I was not spending another penny on schooling for theater. I was going to find a career where I could climb the rungs of the ladder and reach, by gosh and by golly, a bluff with a sweeping vista. I would look out into that fertile valley of experience and be able to say, "I've made it. And now I'll build my house here." And the career I chose to catapult me atop this dream-bluff: esthetics.


Most people said, "Cool, so you're going to put people under--" and I'd have to interrupt and explain that an esthetician is a skin care professional and I would now be in the business of beauty. Other people's. Different, I know.

So I worked extremely hard in school, graduated at the top of my class, and got a job directly after my program. In the meantime I also moved, got married, and went on Safari for my honeymoon. It was a big year and I didn't have a lot of time for wallowing. Throughout this I worked hard to build a clientele in my business, to improve my skill and timing, to market myself and make sure I was always performing at top-level so every client left the spa with a good word about me. Basically, I was able to transfer my obsessive pursuit of success in theater with a similar pursuit in esthetics.

Except in esthetics no one ever said,
"You were so great, but I just couldn't see you as my esthetician." Gah.
Or,
"The Director said you were too gorgeous for the part". Please.
Or the best,
"You've got the part! Now, the pay is $50 for 8 weeks of work and people are going to write really nasty things about your labor of love in The Stranger for the enjoyment of the jaded masses because they're too afraid to be caught enjoying what others might not."
Fascinating.

Skin care, on the opposite end, was something I could do that would be lucrative, flexible and above all fulfilling. Sure there would be disappointments and setbacks but, let me tell you the glory of seeing a client leave with a spring in her step because you shaped her eyebrow. Friends, it is a bluff and sweeping vista all it's own.

So now, after 18 months of focusing on the skin and body hair of other people, I have decided to make an earnest second journey into theater. This time, I hope to approach it is an enrichment to my life rather than both the path and the destination. I hope to reach sparingly and with caution in order to find myself prepared to accept roles I really want. Most importantly, I hope to truly do it for the enjoyment of the thing. The day I called myself a professional actor was the day I shot myself in the artistic anus. I am putting myself on a metaphorical EHarmony, to find a lover with a slow hand and an easy touch. So look for me in the spa, waxing bush and brow or, on stage, waxing minds.